A sponsee relapsed whilst doing his Step Four. He didn't stop his Step work but continued it, and he has now finished Step Four. Now he is willing to complete Step Five, but should he take his Fifth Step if he is only six days sober? If not, how long should we wait? If one of my sponsees relapses, should I stop him in his Step work until he has a certain amount of sobriety, or may he may go at his usual pace? Thank you very much!
My sponsee relapsed three times during his Step work (about once a month). He continued working the Steps, and he was in Steps Six and Seven before his last relapse. I told him to continue the Step work because I heard from another member that you can't wait to be sober in order to do the Steps, but doing the Steps helps you to stay sober.
Now I realize that my sponsee actually had problems with Steps One through Three, so now he's re-doing Steps One through Three. I wish you and your sponsee good luck in recovery and in working together.
My experience has been that if a sponsee relapses while working the Steps, we start going backward through the Steps to see whether he might be missing something. If he relapsed at Step Four, we examine Step Three to see if he has made a decision to turn his will and life over to his Higher Power. If he has not turned his will and life over to a Higher power, then we go back to Step Two, and see if he needs to re-examine his idea of a Higher Power. If he's not able to believe in a Higher Power, then we have to examine Step One and see whether he believes he is truly powerless, because we Sexaholics must really believe that we are entirely powerless over lust.
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