When I began attending Sexaholics Anonymous, I was the only woman present in many of the meetings I attended, and I learned so much from that experience. I learned that men have the same depth of feelings that I do, that there is so much more to them than I could ever have imagined when I objectivized and used them in my active addiction, and that I could have healthy relationships with men that were completely non-sexual! Amazing!
I am fortunate to live in an area that not only has multiple meetings every day, but also has three women-only meetings a week. We recently had a group conscious vote in the women’s meeting that I attend most regularly, to open the meeting to any men that may show up by mistake. We wanted to honor Tradition Five and extend a welcome to any addict still suffering who seeks our help. Sadly, I have heard that women sometimes have been turned away from meetings, by men who have mistakenly not understood that SA is a program of men and women.
Yet, as we read in the book “Sexaholics Anonymous,” SA is “ . . . a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover” (“SA Purpose,” SA, 201). The mixed meetings are the place where: “…we can bring temptation to the light, talk about it, and work through it without having to lust, sexualize, or go into dependency, anger, or rebellion. The meeting is the crucible in which our recovery can be safely tested and purified. …After any initial discomfort from mixed meetings, members come to see their benefit” (see SA, 178-179).
Still, I have found that women at times have had trouble connecting with the men or other women in their local groups--or perhaps there are no other women in their area at all. So following are a couple of ways to connect with other women in SA:.
2. Contact SAICO (Sexaholics Anonymous International Central Office) for help in connecting women with other women in the program other sober. SAICO can be reached at +1 866 424 8777, ask for Laura or Kay. They require phone contact for verification of gender before sending the information.