Meet a woman lust addict, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. Here is the story of a woman lust addict in recovery in Sexaholics Anonymous
What does it mean to be woman lust addict who is free of lust?
For me, being free of lust means that I am no longer chained to unhealthy desires and actions. I am free from driving half an hour to see a man who I did not really care for nor did he care for me. I know longer have to resort to acting out with myself for comfort or confusion or support or etc.
Was there a time when you weren't living in this freedom? What was that like?
When I was acting out in my addiction, I could not stop acting out with men or myself. I thought I was in control but I always lied to myself that everything was fine, and that I was okay. I lied to others to hide what I was doing and to protect my secrets. I felt guilty for this, but I still did not think I had a problem. I used my mother and friends to babysit my kids so I could act out with a married man. I did not care if I lost my husband or kids over this affair, I actually thought the affair was going to save my marriage. But I lied to myself. The affair that was not satisfying, and it did not fix the empty hole in my soul.
How did you finally experience freedom?
I finally experienced freedom from lust when I admitted to my husband my affair of seven years. It was my husband who went online and found the 20 questions of the SA program. I answered the questions and we, together, decided that I needed the program and therapy. My therapist felt I needed to find women's groups because my shares with the men in her group were too graphic and triggering for them. She found me an SAA women’s group and an SA women’s group. These programs helped me learn and grow because I had childhood wounds from girls who were mean to me. But one of the meetings faded away and I needed to cut down on meetings because of my children getting into high school, so I put myself on the WISA (Women in SA) list , so I still could interact with women and Sponsor women. I learned that the more I gave the more I got back because there is true power in this program and the steps.
How did S.A members help you in your journey to freedom?
The SA members helped me my listening to me talk. Just being at meetings gave me comfort that I was not alone, but one of many. I could see the value of being with others with the same problem. The SA members helped me see that their stories had clues and learning experiences for me to adapt for my life and my journey. The people I know who are not in program, are missing out on so much support, knowledge and connections. It is so rewarding to go to an SA meeting and be with people who have the wisdom, hope, and desire to keep on becoming better people!
What would you like to say to another woman lust addict in our SA fellowship?
What I would like to say to an SA woman lust addict is to really put this recovery first, after your Higher Power. Trust God and your sponsor for any decisions that you are not sure of deciding. Be patient with yourself, treat yourself as you would treat a toddler this is a new arena! You need your support to grow and blossom into the butterfly your Higher Power intended you to be! Never quit! You are worth it so work it! Keep on keeping on!