For a month and a half now, I have not intentionally searched out images on the internet. With God’s help, I'm learning how not to stare at attractive women (although I am far from perfect in this). I am finding that, like so many things, with practice, it starts to feel more “natural”. I realize that I actually don’t have to take that second (or third) look. But I also realize that, like alcohol, lust is a subtle foe. It is cunning, baffling, powerful and patient, and is always there waiting for me.
But through practising the Steps of Sexaholics Anonymous, I am experiencing enormous benefits. Last night, my wife and I stopped for coffee whilst out on a walk. She was talking to me, and I was actually focusing on what she was saying (although perhaps not perfectly). But for once, I was not letting my eyes (or my mind) wander around the room, either looking at or thinking about triggers. I was actually listening to her. How refreshing! She remarked on it twice, how good it felt that I was physically, mentally and emotionally present.
How does all this happen? I don’t pretend to know. I only know that something - God - is doing this for me. I don’t think that I could do it by myself. It feels great.