What recovery and sobriety look like

For a month and a half now, I have not intentionally searched out images on the internet.  With God’s help, I'm learning how not to stare at attractive women (although I am far from perfect in this).  I am finding that, like so many things, with practice, it starts to feel more “natural”.  I realize that I actually don’t have to take that second (or third) look.  But I also realize that, like alcohol, lust is a subtle foe. It is cunning, baffling, powerful and patient, and is always there waiting for me.

But through practising the Steps of Sexaholics Anonymous, I am experiencing enormous benefits.  Last night, my wife and I stopped for coffee whilst out on a walk.  She was talking to me, and I was actually focusing on what she was saying (although perhaps not perfectly).  But for once, I was not letting my eyes (or my mind) wander around the room, either looking at or thinking about triggers.  I was actually listening to her.  How refreshing!  She remarked on it twice, how good it felt that I was physically, mentally and emotionally present.

How does all this happen?  I don’t pretend to know.  I only know that something - God - is doing this for me.  I don’t think that I could do it by myself.  It feels great.