Thoughts on the SA Sobriety Definition

I am copying this to the Trustees and the Chair & Vice-chair of the GDA. The comments I offer reflect my understanding, and while I hope that they are in line with the group concience as expressed by the Tustees and GDA, I can not speak for others. That said, here are my beliefs on this matter:
  1. Just as the Big Book describes what "alcoholic" means to the members of AA, so does the White Book (pages v - 58) describe what we in SA mean by the term "sexaholic".  The term "alcoholic" is no longer used in the professional addiction literature, and the term "sexaholic" has never been accepted in these professional journals and texts. Just as AA recognizes that there may be people who drink foolishly, but are not alcoholics, so I believe there may be people whose sexual thinking and behavior may be problematic who are not allergic to lust, and therefore not sexaholic.
  2. "The Sobriety Definition" (pages 191-193) describe the SA solution for the sexaholic. The footnote at the bottom of the page clarifies that the word "marriage" retains its historical meaning of a union between a man and a woman. This ,meaning is unchanged from the founding of Sexaholics Anonymous.
  3. Tradition 3 states: "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober." A discussion about a desire to stop lusting is outside the scope of my reply, but I am happy to address my thoughts on this seperately, if you wish. However the meaning of "sexually sober", is abundantly clear in the chapter "The Sobriety Definition". If  someone does not want sexual sobriety as defined in the White Book, he or she does not meet the requirement for membership. This is similar to someone who insists on his "right" to be a member of AA, even though he wants to have a glass of brandy each night before retiring. If he has no desire to stop drinking, he is not a member of AA. There is no "AA police" to bar him from attending, but a group may decide remove him from a closed AA meeting, if he indicates that he does not meet the requirement for membership.
  4. The Statement of Principle does not change Tradition 3 in any way. It simply states that the sobriety definition is what it has been since the founding of Sexaholics Anonymous, that the requirements for SA membership, as stated in Tradition 3 do not change, regardless of local or cultural changes to the meaning of the term "marriage".
I hope this is helpful. I understand that Sexaholics Anonymous and our sobriety definition may not be what is needed for everyone who has concerns about their sexual thoughts and behavior. However for thousands of sexaholics who have recovered from the obsession with, and bondage of lust, this is the solution that works where other measures have failed. The Big Book suggests "If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience, We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us." (emphasis added, AA, page 95). We do not insist that others follow our path, and we will not abandon the path that has saved our lives to please others.