Recently, I was thinking about my experiences with trying to be in control of my lust and my sexaholism. I'm one of those people that the SA literature describes: "He or she has lost control, no longer has the power of choice, and is not free to stop. Lust has become an addiction" (Sexaholics Anonymous, p. 202).
When it comes to lust, I don't have any control. And working the SA program (i.e. working the Twelve Steps under the direction of a sponsor) did not provide me with a new control over lust as the outcome. Instead, I've come to experience a Power greater than myself, and He is the one who actually has control over lust. God takes care of my lust for me when I surrender my lust to him, with an attitude of willingness to be rid of it and to surrender myself to whatever He would have me do instead.
No, I don't have control, but since I can give it to God, I don't need to even try. And trying to have control always failed anyway. Surrender works where control never did.
(Sober since August 2009)