Living Sexually Sober, Joyous, and Free Through Sexaholics Anonymous
A few weeks back I was meeting with a Sexaholics Anonymous sponsee, and we were reviewing the section in the SA “White Book,” entitled "The Spiritual Basis of Addiction" (SA, p. 45-58). I personally find this section quite helpful, because it reminds me that I got myself into this mess, so I can't blame anyone else for it. (But I've also learned along the way that just because I got myself into a mess, that does not necessarily mean that I can get myself out of it.)
I really like how the last paragraph on page 58 reads:
You don't have to understand any of this to recover. If it has parted the veil of obscurity and misinformation cloaking our condition for only a brief glimpse inside, it will have served its purpose. It should also help those of us in recovery to understand the radical nature of the change of heart and character that must continue if we are to live sober, joyous, and free.
I love that! "You don't have to understand any of this to recover." After I just read this long explanation of the whole spiritual basis of my addiction--the "why" of it, if you will--then they tell me I don't need to understand any of it to recover! That puts a big grin on my face.
I Don't Have To Understand The Spiritual Basis Of My Addiction!
What I did need to do was to simply stop trying to do the whole recovery thing myself. I needed to fully accept that I was a sexaholic, and regardless of what insight and knowledge I could acquire as the the reason for my sex addiction, I will remain a sexaholic for the rest of my life (Step One). I needed to know that a Power greater than myself (and way smarter too) could restore me to sanity (Step Two). I also needed to make a decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God (Step Three), and in doing so, to make a commitment to work the rest of the Steps as well, under the direction of my Sexaholics Anonymous sponsor who was showing me how to work the SA program of recovery.
To this day, I don't know the "why" of recovery. It doesn't matter. I didn't need to know the "why" to recover. I needed the "what" (the Power) and the "how" (working the Twelve Steps as my sponsor told me do them). And that has allowed me to live "sober, joyous and free."