Sexual Sobriety as Defined in Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)

When talking about SA sobriety, we must remember that we are discussing a “sobriety” definition, and not a legal definition. SA’s sobriety definition is “no sex with self or anyone other than a marriage partner, and marriage is defined as a man and a woman.” This definition is not for lawyers but for hopeless sex drunks in recovery. Legal and political changes related to marriage are not relevant to SA’s sobriety definition; our sobriety definition is a spiritual anchor in an ever-changing environment that does not promote a culture of sexual sobriety. As the founder of SA said, recovery from lust-addiction is “counter-cultural” (even in the new legal culture). Legal changes regarding the consumption of alcohol did not affect the sobriety definition in AA. The situation with the sobriety definition in SA is no different. Perhaps our sobriety definition seems different because it includes a legal term (spouse), but it is not different. We all know what “spouse” means. 
Similarly, we all know what “man” and “woman” mean, and we know when we’ve had sex with a man or a woman. In some countries, a man can be legally recognised as a “woman” without surgery, or even without a medical treatment. In Spain, the requirement is two years of medical treatment, but only if the person’s health is not put in danger by this treatment. Obviously these legal changes do not affect our understanding of our sobriety definition in SA.