In recovery we must stop to wanting to be catered to. If I need to phone someone, I don't ask who is available, I just call one fellow after another until I reach someone. In this way I take responsibility for my own recovery and don't ask to be catered to. That is why I never say “no” when someone asks if I am available.
A member wrote, "I have the solution but I am not working it." But that is not possible! The solution IS working the program. It is not merely being a member of Sexaholics Anonymous. It is not a mental knowledge of the Steps or a sentimental feeling of gladness for being a member of SA. The reality is that we all know members who have the solution, but we also know others who haven’t completely let go, and they don’t experience solution.
Sexual addiction really is insanity. Some of us don’t seek the solution while lust is killing us cold-bloodedly. I know some fellows who died in prison from our disease within the last two years. When a sponsee doesn't get sober at all, I ask him to go to a psychiatrist and ask for an antidepressant. If after six months that doesn't help him, I propose three things:
1. Go for three months to a treatment center specialized in sex addiction
2. Go to Nashville for three months
3. Go to a psychiatrist and ask for chemical castration
These are the very things that my sponsor confronted me with six years and ten months ago. I chose three months Nashville. All of my sponsees who have not stayed sober--and to whom I suggested these things but they did not do them--are still acting out, worse and worse, and they have left the fellowship.