Every form of sexuality that I practiced in my 48 years before marriage was “acting out,” according to the Sexaholics Anonymous sobriety definition (“no sex with self or anyone other than a marriage partner”), as well as my re-awakened consciousness.  This means that every so-called "committed," "engaged," or "loving" sexual relationship that I had while not being married was acting out. It means that each and every sexual act, whether with myself or someone else, whether so-called "loving," "intimate," or "mutual", etc. was acting out.  Sex with partners--no matter how much mutual consent, even sex with prostitutes who earned hundreds of euros in 10 minutes--was destructive to myself as well as to them, *as it reinforced our inner convictions* like: taking from another person without the ultimate engagement; treating others as bodies instead of spiritual persons; and believing I am my body and gratifying my body's desires will make me happy.  I am grateful to SA for teaching me these things, because today I am able to treat myself and others with respect--and my personal relationships are so much better now.