One of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous wrote a letter about Emotional Sobriety, in which he highlighted "the need for approval" as a major problem for addicts like me. So in recovery, I can expect to meet lots of people who don't approve of me. This is so that I will eventually turn to God, as the true source of love (His is the ultimate approval) and - having received His love - I will pass it on to my fellows, and especially to those who do not approve of me.

For the last 26 years, the mother of my children has seriously disapproved of me. My attempts to gain her approval in the past had failed utterly. This is because her God-given mission is to help me to grow up emotionally. I can only do this by taking the actions of love towards her, no matter how she might react to me. Today she is my greatest blessing. I love her unconditionally, even when she is cold towards me. In this way, I am experiencing the way that God loves - how He actually loved me in all those years when I was acting out my lust and hating Him. I thank my former wife for showing me how God loves, and for allowing me to experience the joy of loving her, one day at a time.