I am having a difficult time with my wife again (only three months married). No, let me correct that: MY character defects are causing me to have a difficult time, again. I’m taking advantage of my wife's bad mood and withdrawal to allow myself to wallow in self-pity, stinking thinking, fear, resentment, and lust escape fantasies. So I want to bring to the light the following insane thoughts:
- If my wife would die, my life would be easier.
- If she would die, I would inherit her money.
- If her stepmother would die before her father, we would inherit 50% instead of 25% of his fortune when he dies.
- She loves her dog more than she loves me.
- If the dog would die, she would still not direct all that love and attention to me.
- If she would change (be more gentle, joyful, caring, supportive, etc.), I would be happy.
This is insanity. One day at a time, God, I offer myself to Thee.