As part of my recovery from sex and lust addiction, I read two pages from the AA Big Book every day, and recently I came across the following sentence:
"It took about three months for me to realize I was my problem and drinking [lusting] only made my problem worse." (AA BB page 314).
So… I am my problem!! My problem is not God or religion, not my country or its politicians, not the general strike which is going on right now, not my fiancee being dressed in such a way that my lust was triggered, not the noise of the traffic... but … MY defiance towards God and any authority, MY selfishness and fear of financial insecurity, MY lust which is capable of sexualizing even a tree or a mannequin, MY intolerance ...etc. I am my problem. What a revolutionary sentence! If I could live up to this one sentence in all of my thoughts, attitudes, words, and deeds, I would be a completely different person from today onwards.
Then I read:
"... I finally realized that if I wanted this life, I was going to have to do what the others had done. No one made me lust, and no one was going to make me stay sober. This program is for people who want it, not for people who need it." (AA BB page 315):
I am my problem... and therefore no one can do my recovery for me. No "golden sponsor" or magical instruction can keep me sober if I don't give up the lusting inside me.