Experiencing Serenity Through Sexaholics Anonymous
We recite the Serenity Prayer at almost every Sexaholics Anonymous meeting that I attend. Most of the time we use it at the beginning of a meeting, when everyone is quieting down. It goes like this: “God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Those are beautiful words, but I get them all mixed up in in my daily life. I want the courage to change the things that I cannot accept. I want other people to leave me alone. I want to force my will on my relationships and be lusted after by others of my choosing. My mind speeds along and I rarely stop to consider my next action--much less act wisely. That is how I lived as an unrecovered sexaholic.
I cannot change other people
But thank God that He is changing my life through the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous. I am learning that I cannot change other people, and I can't be like other people. I have my own life to live and experience, just as it is--and this a gift from God. I take one breath after the other and one step after another. Breathing and stepping--these are the spiritual actions that keep me focused on the now. In fact right now I have everything I need and I am not disturbed. That is serenity for me, one day at a time.
I know when my serenity is disturbed. It is usually when I am judging myself or someone else; when I expect me or them to be different. Like when my wife says, "Why did you leave your shoes out?" In my judgment she said the wrong thing and my serenity loses its value. I'd rather be offended that serene. Wow--what a sad trade off!
But through the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous, today serenity is something that I value. In fact I think I value serenity much more that I consciously know.