The Price of Sexual Sobriety

A sexaholic is driving alone one night in his car, on an empty highway.  He Is depressed beyond words, thinking how miserable he is, and how he would do anything to get sober and have a normal life. Suddenly, as he's zooming down the highway and thinking these things, he hears the voice of God.

"I hear that you are looking for sexual sobriety," says God.

"Yes," the man says, in awe.

"Well, you are in luck today," says God, “because I happen to have sobriety, and it can be yours for a reasonable price."

"How much?"

"How much have you got?"

"I've got 20 dollars in my pocket"

"You are in luck" says God. "The price of sobriety today happens to be exactly 20 dollars."

"But that's everything I've got,” the man protests. "If I give you all my money, how will I buy gas for the car?"

"A car?,” asks God, "Oh, I see. The price of sobriety is 20 bucks and your car."

"But if I give you my car, how will I get to work tomorrow?"

"Work?,” asks God. "You have a job? The price of sobriety is 20 bucks, your car and your job."

"But If I give you my job, then I won't get paid. And I need to pay the mortgage this week."

"A mortgage? You mean you have a house? I hate to tell you this, but the price of sobriety just went up. It's 20 bucks, your car, your job, and your house."

"But where will my family live?"

"Family? You've got a wife and kids? The price of sobriety is twenty bucks, your car, your job, your house, and your wife and kids."

At this point the man decides to shut up.

“Are you willing to take it?,” asks God.

The man nods. God takes everything, and then He is about to give the man his sobriety.  

"But one more thing," says God. “Before I give you your sobriety, there's something else I want you to do for Me."

The man nods again.

"See This 20 dollars?," asks God. "It's not your 20 dollars, it’s my 20 dollars. You know that.  But I want you to take it from me, and I want you to be my emissary, to spend it as I would. And you see this car? It's not your car, it’s my car. But I want you to use the car as I would. And this job; I want you to go to work and earn a paycheck. But it’s not your Job.  It's My job, and I want you to behave there as i would. And this family of yours is My family, But I want you to take care of them as I would. Can you do all of that?

The man nods again. He says he can do it, by God’s grace.

"Then here it is. And here is your sexual sobriety."