Because of Sexaholics Anonymous, I Have Sexually Sobriety and Peace With Myself
If the focus of my Sexaholics Anonymous recovery is based on just *not* acting out,rather than sobriety, then I will fail. That’s because then I’m only working recovery on one half of the SA problem, and that is the half for which I am powerless.
There are two parts to SA Step One, which describe the whole of my addiction:
- I am powerless over lust. When I let lust in the door, I do not know how far I will go. Perhaps I’ll stop this time, or perhaps I’ll go so far as to take my life. Trying to not act out is working only on this half of the addiction, but in this half, I am powerless. If I were completely sane, I would never start lusting. I would never let lust in the door. However...
- My life is unmanageable. When I stay sexually sober, my life can become harder and harder. I can become increasingly discontent, irritated, resentful, and angry. I can feel increasingly inadequate, unworthy, alone, and afraid. I can forget all the good things and I remember only the bad ones. This continues to get worse until I need to act out again. And all this can happen while I am sober.
I have an addiction, so there is nothing I can do about part a; I am a sexaholic and I will always be powerless over lust. That’s what being a sex addict means. But there is a lot I can do about part b. I can use the Twelve Steps of Sexaholics Anonymous, working with an SA sponsor and sober SA members to learn how to live my life so that my sobriety is good. Then I can stay sober and feel at peace with myself--and in sobriety, I rarely ever feel the urge to go trigger part a again.