I cannot make my memories disappear
Concerning my thoughts and memories, my first SA sponsor warned me that my mind was a dangerous neighborhood for me to be alone in.
Years ago, a gentle and wise psychologist asked me to write down some of my early childhood memories. He pointed out that in those memories I was always alone. Even though I was not physically alone, in my mind I was alone, because I did not relate well with others. I needed the SA fellowship in order to recover from lust. I needed to work on relating and sharing with others. I have a tendency to isolate, so need I to work at relating and sharing with others every day.
It is like my wearing glasses. I started wearing glasses when I was eleven years old. I am a senior citizen now, and I still wear glasses. My prescription has changed over the years, but I have not outgrown my need to wear glasses: I need to use them every day.
I have also found that fighting what is in my head and working to clear my head of lust are ongoing, lifelong struggles. However, over the years I have learned to recognize problems more quickly, and now I know some solutions. I cannot make the old thoughts and memories disappear entirely, even though I wish I could. However, because of what I’ve learned in SA, I can put new and more correct thoughts into my mind to compete with the old thoughts. When the old thoughts come, I remind myself of the truth about my problem. SA recovery is a lifelong, ongoing process--and ongoing study of the Sexaholics Anonymous literature is important for my recovery.
Sexaholics Anonymous Offers Solutions for Overcoming Sex Addiction
I also need frequent meetings and I need daily prayer and meditation to help me stay sexually sober. I need to work daily at putting healthy thoughts and desires in my mind. Prayer and meditation help me learn to control and clear my thoughts. They work but they also take ongoing practice. That is why Step Eleven is so important for me. It involves learning to work with my thoughts, while allowing my Higher Power to help me overcome wrong thinking.
Today I know by experience that the Sexaholics Anonymous program really works. My problems might be lifelong, but SA offers lifelong solutions, as long as I keep coming back.