Select stories from recovering sex addicts

Welcome to the Members Share section of our website.

Here members of Sexaholics Anonymous share their experience, strength and hope. There are stories for everyone, from all walks of life. We hope that you can find inspiration from these shares.

Please always remember that the Member Shares are not official literature of Sexaholics Anonymous, they remain the personal opinions of their respective authors.

Self-Will Run Riot

My Sneaky Desire To Be Lusted After

When I realized that women were attracted to men who don't stare at them (ha ha), I became aware of just how sneaky my desire to be lusted after could be. Playing the "hero" role is one of the ways that I pursued lust. I personally did not sense any...

Fighting Lust?

Fighting Lust is a losing battle

One of the most important experiences I had as I started working the Steps with my Sexaholics Anonymous sponsor was when I realized that fighting lust was impossible for me. I could not fight lust on my own--ever!  Fighting lust thoughts in my head only...

Woman Lust Addict

Meet a woman lust addict, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. Here is the story of a woman lust addict in recovery in Sexaholics Anonymous

What does it mean to be woman lust addict who is free of lust?

For me, being free of lust means that I am no longer chained to...

Sex Addicted Woman

Meet a sex addicted woman: a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. Here is her story of freedom

What does it mean to be free of lust?

For me, to be free of lust means many things. It means being able to be present, living life on life’s terms, not objectifying myself or...

Female Sexaholic

Meet a female sexaholic:  A wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. Here is her story of freedom.

What does it mean to be a female sexaholic free of lust?

Because of  the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous, I can be free of lust. This means that I am able to surrender my...

Free From Lust

Meet an SA woman:  A daughter. A sister.  A friend. A sex addict. Here's how she became free from lust.

What does it mean to be free of lust?

Being free from lust means clarity to me. I have clarity in all aspects of my life today. I can be present be in moment. I can see myself...

Contentment

For me, freedom from lust is contentment.  Today, because of the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous, I have a hope and a calmness, and I can experience serenity, peace, and joy.  I am able to be present in the moment, giving full attention to the people I’m with or what I’m doing.  When I’m...

Responsibility

Responsibility in Recovery

I have learned that my recovery is my responsibility. I was sitting in an open S-Anon meeting with my wife one night when I heard her say, "His sobriety is none of my business.”  I wasn't sure how to take that.  Part of me was relieved but another part of me...

Not Perfect

I'm not perfect and today I'm just fine with that

I heard another Sexaholics Anonymous member share about dropping a necklace down the sink drain, his anger at himself for the error, and his resulting desire to medicate by sexually acting out.  Wow.  This share reminded me of myself.  I...

Miracles

The Many Miracles of Sexholics Anonymous

I have experienced many miracles in my life, and the miracles continue to flow in. I know deep inside that I am a sexaholic, and that I will always be a sexaholic. Without my loving Higher Power, I am a complete failure. But just for today, when...

Humility

Humility was a lesson I needed to learn

The  “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous tells me at the beginning of Chapter Three:

We [sexaholics] are men and women who have lost our ability to control our [lusting]. We know that no real [sexaholic] ever recovers control. All

...

Actions Enable Sexual Sobriety

At first, my addict brain kept forgetting what actions enable sexual sobriety for me. But today I have tools that help me to stay sober:  making phone calls, attending meetings, giving and receiving sponsorship, and working the Twelve Steps. Those actions enable sexual sobriety in my life....

Memories

I cannot make my memories disappear

Concerning my thoughts and memories, my first SA sponsor warned me that my mind was a dangerous neighborhood for me to be alone in.

Years ago, a gentle and wise psychologist asked me to write down some of my early childhood memories. He pointed...

Scary Steps

These Scary Steps Are Actually Love in Action

Are the Steps scary? Early on I asked an old-timer how long would I have to work the Twelve Steps. He replied, "You have to work the Steps until you learn to live the Steps."  I had no idea what he meant by that.  

As the Sexaholics...

Expectations

Expectations - Premeditated Resentments

Through Sexaholics Anonymous I have come to realize that my own expectations of other people are what cause me most the most heartache. Recently I was ill, so I took sick leave from work. I expected understanding from the members of my department...

Surrender

I spent a lot of years "struggling" to surrender to God. I wrote "struggling" in quotes because I've learned a whole lot more about both struggling and surrendering by doing the very thing that Sexaholics Anonymous offers as a program of recovery: to work the Twelve Steps under the direction of...

Sexually Abused

Ever since I was a very young boy, I was sexually abused by all of the other boys in my large extended family. One of the earliest memories of my childhood was during the wartime era in my country. I remember waking up in my mother’s arms because of the sound of heavy explosions, which broke all...

Complete Defeat

I stayed drunk on lust for a very long time because I did not want to admit complete defeat.  As I have read in Step One  

Who cares to admit complete defeat? Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness (Twelve

...

Fatal Disease

Is sexaholism a fatal disease?  Do I really believe that?  Or is it just some kind of allegorical “spiritual death”? The answer to that is clear for me.  My forms of acting out sexually included bondage and other extreme forms.  The last time I met with another person to act out, I was made...

From Selfishness to Unselfishness

Selfishness, Self-centredness, that we think is the root of our problems

Ah yes, selfishness and self-centeredness are always so natural just to slip into. For me, those two traits fit like a perfect and comfortable glove--but they have done a whole lot of damage to others and me....

Truly Sexually Sober

Hope For a Truly Sexually Sober Life

I'm in a good spiritual place these days and on my way to a truly sexually sober life. But six years ago, before joining Sexaholics Anonymous, I was not in such a good place. I could not find peace…or when I did, I found peace boring. I dreamed of...

Sexually Sober Today

The Sexaholics Anonymous literature reminds me that it is not enough to be sexually sober.

"If we are content with ourselves, simply minus the compulsion, there can be no recovery. Recovery is more than mere sobriety" (

...

Step Ten and Step Eleven

Working Step Ten and Step Eleven Has Strengthened My Sexual Sobriety

For me, a review of the day is a definite part of my daily Step Ten and Step Eleven work, as suggested in the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous. The AA Big Book (page 84) describes Step Ten as follows:...

Pages