Select stories from recovering sex addicts

Welcome to the Members Share section of our website.

Here members of Sexaholics Anonymous share their experience, strength and hope. There are stories for everyone, from all walks of life. We hope that you can find inspiration from these shares.

Please always remember that the Member Shares are not official literature of Sexaholics Anonymous, they remain the personal opinions of their respective authors.

Hidden Lust

Hidden Bottles

I heard a story told by an alcoholic who owned a big chicken farm. The man sobered up and sold the farm, but every so often he'd see the new owners, and they would inform him that they had found another bottle of liquor hidden somewhere on the farm.  They'd have a good...

God Keeps Me Sober

When I Am Rightly Connected

I have been traveling lately, and I was grateful to be able to attend a face-to-face Sexaholics Anonymous meeting in a different place on a Tuesday night. We read the chapter on Step Six (“We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of...

Positive Sobriety

Positive Sobriety Begins With Sexual Sobriety

Everything begins with sobriety. Without sobriety, there is no program of recovery. But without reversing the deadly traits that underlie our addiction, there is no positive and lasting sobriety (Sexaholics Anonymous “White Book


Spiritual Basis

Living Sexually Sober, Joyous, and Free Through Sexaholics Anonymous

A few weeks back I was meeting with a Sexaholics Anonymous sponsee, and we were reviewing the section in the SA “White Book,” entitled "The Spiritual Basis of Addiction" (SA, p. 45-58). I personally find this section...

Daily Step Work

Learning to Make Amends for My Sexual Harms Through Sexaholics Anonymous

The other day I was thinking about how I should make my Step Nine amends to those I have harmed. Step Nine says: "We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or...


Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired Brings Me To A Halt

Today I experienced HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired). I came face-to-face with some of my long-time character defects: laziness, procrastination, perfectionism, and pride. So I shared my struggles with some of my Sexaholics...

Understand This

I Didn't Have To Understand In Order To Recover

A few weeks back I was meeting with a sponsee and reviewing the section in the Sexaholics Anonymous “White Book” entitled "The Spiritual Basis of Addiction" (SA, p. 45-58). I personally find this section quite helpful to remind me that I...


Sexaholics Anonymous Has Given Me A New Life

Before coming to Sexaholics Anonymous, my life was completely out of control. It was more out of control within me than outside of me (though that was pretty disorderly as well). I was a functional sexaholic, able to hold down a job and keep...

Fighting Lust

The More I Experience the Sexaholics Anonymous Program, the Better My Life Gets!

I knew that sex addiction recovery was beginning to work for me when I was finally able to relax a bit.  As long as I was fighting lust to stay sexually sober, I was still in danger.  Throughout my life, I...

Resentment is Toxic

Resentment - the number one offender

Someone mentioned that a "long-term sober" member of Sexaholics Anonymous had acted out due to resentment toward a spouse. I can relate to that, because my sexual sobriety date is the day after I last acted out due to resentment toward my spouse....

Wanted to Stop

I wanted to stop my self-destructive thinking and behaviour

And until I wanted to stop, nothing happened.

Many Sexaholics Anonymous groups read "What Is A Sexaholic And What Is Sexual Sobriety" at the beginning of each meeting (Sexaholics Anonymous “White Book,” pg 202). This is...


Sexaholics Anonymous Teaches Me to Surrender My Sexual Lust

I cannot fight lust - I can only surrender it.

Surrender--that is one of those hundred thousand dollar words that I have learned through Sexaholics Anonymous recovery.  For me, surrender is a result of doing Step work;...


Sexaholics Anonymous Offers a Solution For Overcoming Sex Addiction

Each week in our local face-to-face Sexaholics Anonymous meeting, we read "The SA Purpose," right as we start the meeting:

Sexaholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their



Learning to Surrender My Sex Addiction to God

Learning to surrender my life to God has been one of the the most amazing things that the program of Sexaholics Anonymous has given me--even though it seems that surrender doesn't seem to come naturally to me. Surrender goes against almost...


Sexual Sobriety is All About Connecting With God

The whole point of the Sexaholics Anonymous program is to bring me into a right relationship with God.

I recently heard another Sexaholics Anonymous member share about feeling a heaviness. That got me to thinking about how...


Experiencing Serenity Through Sexaholics Anonymous

We recite the Serenity Prayer at almost every Sexaholics Anonymous meeting that I attend.  Most of the time we use it at the beginning of a meeting, when everyone is quieting down. It goes like this: “God, Grant me the serenity to...

Sexual Sobriety Celebration

Celebrating One Year of Sexual Sobriety

Today I am celebrating one year of sexual sobriety--365 days, one day at a time--and I would like to take the opportunity to reflect on what has been working for me, and to recognize the good things that have come into my life this year because of...


The Four Hideous Horsemen

Page 30 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous describes my "stopping" experience in Sexaholics Anonymous...especially the phrase "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization."  That was how it felt for me to hit bottom.  But when hearing a "weekly topic"...


Staying Connected to My Sexaholics Anonymous Fellows is Wisdom

I have often heard members in Sexaholics Anonymous meetings share that our Higher Power can do for us things that we cannot do for ourselves. This is wisdom, and it is important for me to hear, because it is impossible for...

A Sexaholics Motivation

Finding Sufficient Motivation to Stop Sexual Lusting

When I first came to Sexaholics Anonymous, it was the greatest relief for me to finally come to a full acceptance of my powerlessness over lust, so that I could finally stop fighting lust.  Insanity had kept me thinking that I could...

Open AA

Open AA Meetings can provide opportunities....

Yesterday, in an English-speaking open AA meeting in my city, the reading was on Honesty and Recovery, and everyone shared on that topic. And then suddenly all of the alcoholics were sharing about their issues with sex! I was really nervous...

Work It

It Works When I Work It

In the past few days I've been waking up early, praying, making a call, reading a few pages of Alcoholics Anonymous literature, making a gratitude list, and then getting to work. At work, I pray and surrender frequently. I don't talk much anymore because I don't...

Allergy Relief

Important Information Pertaining to the Use of Sexaholics Anonymous

-- Sexaholics Anonymous is an allergy relief program that is commonly used to treat and inhibit the use of lust and the common defects caused by sexaholism.

-- SA is designed to reduce the symptoms commonly...

Spiritual Awakening

Having had a Spiritual Awakening

In the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous, I have something to share with my fellow members that even some doctors can't give. I can share my own personal experience, strength, and hope. I can allow others to see in me a spiritual awakening.


Step Four

Diligently Working Step Four

In a recent Sexaholics Anonymous meeting that I was leading, I chose the topic of Step Four: ”Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” I wanted to encourage others in my SA group to work this Step diligently.

Step Four was a lot of...

Step by Step

Yet Another Step In SA Recovery

At a recent Sexaholics Anonymous meeting, we were studying Step Nine on making amends. Afterwards a friend and former sponsor gave me the idea to reflect on an interesting question: "How do I make amends to myself?"  The short answer is by working the...

Depravity Dumping

Why Sharing My Depravity Did Not Work

When I first came to Sexaholics Anonymous,  I felt that what I needed to do most in a meeting was to have a place to dump my shame and fear.  I felt that I needed to talk explicitly about my depravity, what I had done, in order to purge myself of...

Medicate With Lust

Or Medicate with anything

I have noticed that over the past few days it is not only lust that I use to medicate, but there also many other things that I use to medicate. These include fairly obvious things such as eating, drinking (which I actually don't do), or watching TV shows--but...


Progressive Recovery From Sex Addiction

I recently heard a fellow Sexaholics Anonymous member mention the difficulty he has had in naming the difference between his emotions. I suspect that this has been true for many of us--at least it was true for me anyway.  I have often had trouble...