Medicate With Lust

Or Medicate with anything

I have noticed that over the past few days it is not only lust that I use to medicate, but there also many other things that I use to medicate. These include fairly obvious things such as eating, drinking (which I actually don't do), or watching TV shows--but there are also things that I would not have thought would be a problem in the past. The biggest thing I use to medicate lately has actually been a soccer match. In the next five days, my favorite team will be playing two games, which will determine the outcome of their entire season. While I don't think there is anything wrong with me watching those matches, I always find myself obsessing over them. For example, just yesterday I obsessively read a bunch of news about the teams, trying find out everything there is to know about the games: the starting 11, the pre-match commentary, and any other news that I can find.  

Learning To Stop Self-Medicating In Sexaholics Anonymous

Reflecting on that, I realize that this does not bring me any peace. In all of these activities, I am looking for some sort of high. I want to be a part of the atmosphere and the excitement of the games, but in reality I have been using this as another, much subtler form of a drug. I am also putting my own happiness and peace into the hands of others--and something that I have no control over: the outcome of the game. What if they lose? Will I be so upset that I will want to medicate with lust? I can't afford that. So what I'm learning, I think--through the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous--is that I cannot afford any of these emotional roller coasters, whether they be in relationships with other people, through anger and resentment, or in obsessing over the outcome of a football game.

Lust Kills My Spirit