White Knuckle Beginnings
For me sexual sobriety must be love based. Since I began my Sexaholics Anonymous recovery in April 2012, my sobriety has gone through a transformation from fear based to love based. At the very beginning, I was white knuckling; that is, my sobriety was based on fear and simply avoiding people, places, and things. But, bit by bit, my recovery has begun to accent the positive.
Love Based Transformation
I don’t think this transformation would have been possible without a change of mind in my relationship with my Higher Power. Through SA, my hatred of others has been shaped into a sense of being loved with no strings attached. Since I have reached 9 years of sexual sobriety, I have lived with awareness that my drunk father had been sentenced because he beaten up one guy senseless. My relationship with my father for the last 30 years has been rather fear based than love based. My goal is to be able to see my alcoholic father with the eyes of my Higher Power, and that my support for him will be fueled by respect and love.