Wanting to "Live the Solution” of Sexaholics Anonymous

Am I living the solution? Sometimes I wonder whether I am honestly looking for a recovery solution--or is it just that I’m bothered that I'm not getting my way?  I came from a very rigid religious background.  Every time the church doors opened we were there.  At times my heart was moved, but very little change happened in me.  But now, in Sexaholics Anonymous, I'm learning to look for solutions. I'm practicing living the solution. And I have learned that the solution is NEVER the other person!  When bothered by something or someone today, I am quicker than before to put pen to paper to see where I was wrong in my thinking.

Living the Solution is Action not Knowledge

There are no program slogans in recovery that say,  "I must understand," or " I must figure it out first!”  How can I?  My thinking is my problem.  When I’m disturbed, I need to take action to get out of myself.  I can walk a lady across the street, or give a homeless a dollar, or invite someone who is struggling to a meal or a beverage after the meeting. This is all part of my program.                        

One time a Sexaholics Anonymous sponsor had me to go to a parking lot and pick up paper.  That snapped at my insanity.   I can get so obsessed with sobriety that my thinking gets in the way!

Picking Up Litter Snapped My Insanity

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous tells me that the Twelve Steps are not just about not drinking alcohol.  The Steps are about learning how to live sober. by living in the solution  I can't have sexual sobriety by myself.  I need God's help because I am insane, and I’m powerless sex addiction. I also need God with skin on (the members of Sexaholics Anonymous) to help me stay sober.                        

When I'm hurting, instead of asking someone to call me, I pick up the phone and call--because I might act out by the time someone else decides to call me.  I must take the initiative, as it says on Page 74 in Sexaholics Anonymous (the “White book”): “The one who needs help does the calling; we give up the old idea of being catered to.” Is it wrong to ask someone to call me? No.  But it’s a matter of what is healthiest.  I can call others, and even if there is no answer,  just calling and leaving a message often snaps my insanity                                      

I don't have all the answers, but I have been privileged to know some Sexaholics Anonymous old timers, and they have taught me a lot. One thing I notice is that they they confess their wrongs or mistakes and move on to living in the solution.  And I want to live like them: soberly and in the solution, today