In June this year, my wife and I started going to counselling sessions because she'd had an affair with another man--which made it clear to both of us that our marriage wasn't as good as we thought. The counselor emphasised very strongly that we needed to talk openly with each other. Before that, I rarely told my wife when I didn't like something that she'd done. Sometimes I was pretty sure that she'd wronged me, but I just looked at my side of the street and didn't tell her anything. But now the counselor told me to tell such things to my wife. That seemed to me to be against the programme.
Then I asked my sponsor and he encouraged me to share everything with my wife, except for lust-related stuff. So I've been doing that every since, and it has been massively helpful. I still have to write an inventory, recognise and admit my own wrongs, surrender character defects, make amends, and focus on my side of the street, without trying to change my wife. But now I share with my wife when I feel she's hurt me. I try to do this in a loving way and in an appropriate time. And int turns out that my wife is grateful for this communication and tries to avoid hurting me the next time. It's hard for me to communicate openly (both talking and listening), but communication is making our marriage better than ever.