I had to come to the realization myself. This recognition of powerlessness is called “working the First Step." As Step One states, “We admitted we were powerless over lust - that our lives had become unmanageable.” It took me time and a lot of pain to admit I was defeated. Sooner or later, I said something like, “I give up!” or “I need help!” or “I can’t do this by myself any more!”
Each of these statements is an admission of powerlessness. This is why I can't get sober for somebody else - like a family member or employer. I had to admit my own defeat and seek help for myself.
Our "bottoms" with this addiction may be many and varied. My acting out, for instance, never involved physical contact with another person. But that's not important since I have admitted that I am an addict because lust just consumed me.
I'm a lust addict who has never had a physical affair, though I have eagerly studied everything that might involve! But the lust drug pumped in my veins and altered my mind regardless. It affected my work, my home, my relationships, the way I drove, where I would eat or drink or hang out. It controlled me...because I AM a lust addict.