I love being a part of my SA groups. It’s amazing to think of being a part of this worldwide fellowship-- especially when I consider what qualifies me for being a part of it. That's a miracle in itself!
The AA Big Book talks a lot about "maintenance and growth," "grasping and developing," "enlarging" etc . These phrases tell me this is not a program of arriving; it's a program of seeking. And because this is a spiritual program, it is timeless and therefore never ending--never ending progress!
For me, recovery is not so much about achieving a spiritual goal as it is about finding a spiritual path. That's why the concept of “progress” is so useful. I just keep progressing on the path; I don't have to worry about getting everything right. In fact my sponsor says that mistakes are how we learn. If we keep making the same mistake, we haven't yet learned the lesson. "Embrace the mistake" he would say, "that's how you learn the lesson."
A big step of progress for me was when recovery became less about getting my circumstances right and more about developing/grasping/growing/etc in a relationship with God as I understand God. I'm learning to accept circumstances and situations. I'm learning to accept my imperfections. I'm learning to be human.
I'm learning to see a lot of things as outside issues about which no opinion of mine is required. On a good day that includes people that who were past lust targets. You might say I'm experiencing neutrality about more stuff, and that takes up a lot less energy.
"Whining is anger coming through a small hole" (heard on AA speaker tape)
(Sober since October 2009)