I Found Sexual Sobriety Through the Fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous
As the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says about sobriety:
"...we have ceased fighting anything or anyone--even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition" (AA Big Book, page 84-85).
The part that says,
"We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes!"
really offended me when I first came to the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous. I have put out tons of effort into my sobriety, I thought. And then it struck me: I was running the show--self will run riot. I thought that I could change my attitude toward my sexaholism on my own, but I could not.
The Big Book reading even suggests that sexual triggers won't tempt me like they did in the past, if I keep in a fit spiritual condition. What is a fit spiritual condition? The Big Book tells me the answer on page 77:
"Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us."
So as part of my SA program, I try to do two or three things each day, as I start my day:
- Thank My Higher Power for another beautiful day of sexual sobriety.
- Surrender to whatever God has instore for me by saying, "God whatever you have instore for me today, I am all in."
- Ask God how I can be of service to God and others that day.
When I start my day with that kind of attitude, my day seems to go much better for me and for the people around me.
It's my opinion is that my changed attitude toward God is that He had the thought of me long before I even knew that I was going to need the miracle of sexual sobriety. But eventually He led me to the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous, so that today I can be happy, joyous and free. I live free in that miraculous gift.