I am a recovering sexaholic, from an island to the south of the equator. I have been sexually sober since November 8, 2016.
My Sexaholics Anonymous relapse definition is that if I start typing a word to search for pornography, or if I start masturbation--even if not to orgasm--then that is a relapse of sexual sobriety, and I must re-set my sobriety date. My main difficulty in sobriety is that I take in lust from watching TV, rather than calling members and reaching out to the fellowship. So the best thing for me to do is to cut off TV completely on a daily basis, as my sponsor has suggested.
I was introduced to Twelve Step programs through my father, who was a member of Gamblers Anonymous, and I attended meetings with him once or twice. I also attended Al-Anon with my mother (my father was a drinker) for two meetings, but my mother did not admit that my father had a drinking problem. He did not drink every day, but he would drink quite heavily at parties. I loved him loads, even though there was not much conversation between us. But through SA, I have come to realize that I am a sick person, just like my father was.
I read a share recently in which a member said that he had been arrested by the police. I also know that all other people commit all sorts of illegal things and aren't ever arrested. Still, the person who does harm to another because of addictive behaviours is already imprisoned, because of the lies and the guilt he or she carries inside of his soul. The only remedy for this guilt is to make amends for hurts done to others (but only after running it by a sponsor). This is how to have a sane life. And the only way I have found to have this life is to be part of the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous, get a sponsor, and work the Steps.