Meet a female sexaholic: A wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. Here is her story of freedom.
What does it mean to be a female sexaholic free of lust?
Because of the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous, I can be free of lust. This means that I am able to surrender my lustful fantasies and imaginations, and I am able to refrain from acting out sexually. I also have freedom from compulsive, disturbing obsessions, and the inability to form real relationships.
What was that like to be a female sexaholic in active addiction?
Up until I came into Sexaholics Anonymous, I was suffering constantly, and I was surely not living any type of freedom. I was emotionally a mess, living with a huge load of pain and misery, and I used lust and masturbation to escape from the mess. But every time after I used masturbation, I would feel disgusted with myself. I would feel two-faced. I hated myself. I felt disconnected from God. My life was reaching a rock bottom.
How did you finally experience freedom?
I remember the very first time I applied the tools of the Sexaholics Anonymous program to help me stay sexually sober. At first, everything seemed new. I did not understand anything. All I knew was that I was supposed to turn to God and surrender my lust.
One sunny day I was standing against a window as I had a lust hit. I turned my gaze up and just repeated many times in a gentle tone of voice these words: “I am powerless over lust and I want to surrender my lust to my Higher Power.” I was shocked to find that the lust was subsiding from me. This prayer has kept me sober until today, one day at a time, and that has been a sobriety key for me. But more than that, sobriety is a foundation of a whole new way of life. Emotional stability followed my physical sobriety, and then I was able to work on myself-–my character assets and defects. With that, God has granted me many gifts of the Sexaholics Anonymous program, and I have found happiness and peacefulness within me. Today, because of SA, I am a recovering female sexaholic, building a grounded and successful life for myself--including my family, my kids, my job, and my friends.
How did SA members help you in your journey to freedom?
I had been through the doors of many therapists, doctors, and even hospital before I entered the rooms of SA. But when I came to Sexaholics Anonymous, I found something that I had not seen before: A group of people sharing honestly and openly their real and vulnerable feelings! I found that when I spoke to members they were all relating to what I said, and with compassion and humor. SA is a “we” program--we have a common problem and we have a common solution. I’m no longer alone!
What would you like to say to other female sexaholics in our SA Fellowship?
Welcome! I’m looking forward to meeting you all and to getting to know you! I hope that the fellowship works out as well for you as it has worked for me! As we work along the road to recovery, some things can sometimes be quite painful. Give yourself a chance, you deserve it! It might seem like hard work at first, but all of the work will pay off. The inner peace, freedom, and joy that SA promises are attainable for all of us female sexaholics! May you all experience that!