Would lust or acting out make anything better?

Since being in SA, I have found two virtues very important - patience and persistence. 

Patience. This is a tough one - because my addiction is all about instant gratification. I want what I want, when I want it, where I want it and how I want it. There is no room for patience with that attitude. I believe that God's will often includes waiting. 

Persistence. I have come to believe that recovery is repetitive. Surrender is a consistent activity in my life. If I don't surrender, I find myself back in all the unmanageability of my addiction. But persistence is difficult when I surrender again and again but imagine it is getting me no where. I guess that is where patience comes in. 

There was a period in my recovery when I spent a whole summer struggling with my work life. Every morning I woke up with a lot of anxiety. Everyday I spoke to my recovery friends and sponsor about surrendering my fears and trying to trust God and take His actions. 

I told my sponsor, "Everyday I strive to take the right actions but continue to struggle. When will this recovery stuff finally kick in?"  He responded, "Keep coming back. What is you other solution?  Going back to lust and acting out?  Will that really make things better?"

Eventually, my struggles seemed to disappear. I suddenly realized that life wasn't so difficult. What a gift!  And it only happened by applying the principles (Steps) of this programme to my daily life over and over again. 

Sometimes when I'm struggling with patience and persistence, I just have to accept that I find it difficult and ask my Higher Power to help me through. It's amazing how that can work. 

"This too shall pass."