Why why doesn't work

An alcoholic with 30+ years of recovery gently and laughingly informed me, that "why questions" don't help. This is because all why questions are management questions and, in recovery, I am no longer "in management". Instead, I've learned to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him (Step 3). As the Big Book reminds me, from then onward, He is the manager and I am His follower.

Whenever I ask "why", I am implying that knowing the answer will somehow let me handle my life successfully. But my own experience shows that knowing the answers never helped me to manage my life better. So, rather than trying to know why, I try to discern what my Higher Power would have me do next. I then choose to do the next right thing, whether I understand it or not. Over time, doing this has made my life better - and my mind is no longer blurred. This is a great deal of what the Steps are about.

By following this practice, I have had a much better life for the last 14 years than I ever knew in the 51 years before and, amazingly, I have not done any of the obsessive and dangerous behaviors that used to threatened my life.