Recovery began for me when I went to Nashville for 3 months, got sexually sober and worked the first 8 Steps, so that I could begin making my amends upon returning home. As our literature says: "When based on a foundation of sexual sobriety and put into personal action, the Twelve Steps and Traditions become the beginning of a whole new way of life." Without this foundation of sexual sobriety, recovery did not begin for me as a sexaholic.

My first sponsor R worked the 12 Steps with me, in a very practical way - actually working the Steps rather than lecturing me about them or quoting excerpts or page numbers from literature. I loved it! (I had spent 7 years in a religious group where we studied scripture and talked endlessly. Even today I'm uncomfortable whenever I hear talk about 'teachers'. I much prefer contact with sober SA members who, though still recovering sick people (like all of us) are further down the recovery road and simply share their experience, strength and hope).  R was the right God-given sponsor for me then: down-to-earth, simple, "Here are the things to do... This is how I worked the Steps... How my sponsor gave them to me...Just do them!" 

When, after 3 years, I started working with my current sponsor, S, he turned out to be the right God-given sponsor at that time too. We worked Steps 3-12 again over many months. This time, we used the AA Big Book to check the work and to get a much deeper understanding of the spiritual sense of the writing. I am very grateful for that. It has helped me in my sponsorship of others. I'm grateful for both of these influences and I try to combine them today in my sponsoring of others.

Today, I am not impressed by a person who quotes passages from recovery literature. I'm impressed by his walk - his humility, his love and his desire to help other sexaholics. Even I can have a deeply spiritual recovery without being a 'literature scholar', provided I practice the principles laid down in our literature in my daily life.