What I tried to get cured

Here are some of the things I did to try to cure my own sex addiction before I finally surrendered to the SA programme:

  • seven years of therapy (nothing against therapy, it can help, but it is NO cure)
  • ten years of another S-program where I tried ‘to control and enjoy’ by making up my own sobriety plan (I tried over ten of them - without any long term success)
  • seven years of being a member of a Hindu religion, meditating, learning Sanskrit verses by heart
  • trying always harder to try to force God to fix me
  • thirteen years of being a strict vegetarian (no meat, fish or eggs)
  • dieting or fasting to cure me
  • going to India for some months hoping that changing the environment would cure me
  • doing two pilgrimages of more than three months by foot
  • having a ‘committed’ living-together relationship with a very beautiful woman for three years
  • taking antidepressants
  • taking food supplements/vitamins
  • doing volunteer work (out of feelings of guilt) to purify myself
  • giving a quarter of my income to my religion to try to 'buy' my salvation
  • working on reducing the guilt or shame feelings while acting out (a dangerous place to be!)
  • acting out to the maximum possible in order to become fed up with acting out forever (it doesn't work)
  • expressing my suppressed childhood anger towards my parents, including giving them a written list of what THEY did wrong and demanding their amends (the exact opposite of the 9th step)
  • having very close 'non-sexual' relationships with women (which failed)
  • work harder
  • stop working
  • allowing other addictions to take over because this would somehow prevent me from acting out (like watching television, movies or overeating)
  • bathing in the Ganges and drinking loads of its water
  • co-dependently over-serving in the name of religion;

But none of them was THE cure. As I hear time and again in SA meetings, “There is no silver bullet.” Sexaholism is an incurable illness but recovery is possible in SA.