I used to think I didn't watch much TV. Lo and behold there's a TV I watch off and on every day. It's MTV - Mental Television - channels that broadcast in my head.
A small sampling of the networks would include -
ASPN (Angry Sports Network): Top ten highlights of critiques and other slights received during the day with analysis of what should have happened.
ASPN Classic: From the archives, vintage footage of injuries done to me years ago.
WIM (Woe Is Me network): Melodrama at its finest. Tear-jerker fantasy movies star me in the unforgettable roles of loner, outsider, and picked-on victim of a cold world.
BNN (Bad News Network): 24 hour visions of impending doom that never actually happens.
The Food Network: Taste-tempting visions of my other obsession.
It's not all TV. There's also Serious Satellite Radio: Coward Stern serves up all-day insults: "You're worthless, you'll never amount to anything, you're guilty..."
I've decided I want to switch to HP TV which is network television since it's plugged into the network of recovery. Such channels include -
ABC: As simple as it sounds. The fundamentals (the abc's) of staying sober are always worth viewing - "don't act out no matter what," "a day at a time," etc.
NBC (Not By Chance): Believing that SA and sobriety happened to me not by chance helps me believe in a loving higher power.
CBS (Calls Bring Serenity): Others can "SEE B.S." in my thinking more quickly than I can, so I need to call.
My mind is always wanting to watch something, so might as well tune in to the right channels. Reality TV is when I bring these visions out into my real life for others to view. This will give new meaning to the words "make me a channel of your peace."