I spent a good 35 years nurturing my addiction without recognizing its negative affect on me and all those around me. In early recovery, I spent a period of time mourning that fact. Then the Serenity Prayer came to the rescue...
- Wisdom to know the difference - recognizing that I cannot control or change my past.
- God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change - asking my HP to help me accept my past to gain serenity and peace.
- Courage to change the things I can - I can change my present situation by following my HP's will; stay sober, take the next right action of love even if I don't want to.
My sponsor says it's alright to look at my past, just don't stare. For me, this means learn from my past, but accept it for what it is. Don't dwell on it as that will lead me to guilt, shame and remorse and they, in turn, will lead me back to lust and acting out in order to escape those feelings.