Last night, I attended a meeting where the speaker ended with the words, "thank God I found SA!" This is my sentiment exactly.
Before SA, I thought I understood how to live life but actually I did not, otherwise I wouldn't have been so hooked on lu$t. Fear, resentment, guilt and remorse ruled my life and I could not handle it. Lust was my "go to" to make me feel better, to escape the parts of life I didn't like, to escape me. While in the depth of my addiction, I couldn't recognize how much more unmanageable my life was due to lust. I honestly thought lust was the only good constant thing in my life.
The "Joy of Recovey" for me is recognizing and accepting the truth about myself. Finding a whole new way to live. I find this new way difficult, as it is so different from my old ways, but when I take the difficult way things turn out better for.
- I'm able to go to sleep next to my wife with integrity instead of shame and hiding my lies.
- I'm available for my daughters and not an empty shell.
- Focusing less on myself, provides me more peace
- I'm more focused with work and life in general - lust used to take up a lot of time.
- When I share from my weakness at a meeting, I gain strength.
- I have a much better and intimate relationship with my wife, kids, family, co-workers and friends.
- I save a lot of money that I used to waste on lust
- I don't have to worry about giving a sexually transmitted disease to my wife.
- I could go on about all the lust consequences I don't have to face.
- I sleep better at night and when I don't I have better tools at my disposal to help me get through it.
Recovery is hard work, but I have found that it is well worth it. Life is difficult enough without me adding salt to my wounds by lusting.