From the time I was a kid I never liked teams. I didn't want to lose because some teammate screwed up. If I played my part perfectly, but my teammate dropped the ball, why should I lose because of him? Or what if I messed up, and now a bunch of people hate me for making them lose?
Also, if I'm the primary factor in helping a team win, the credit will be spread out among a bunch of others. So by all logic it was better to have the credit and control of winning or losing solo.
I did play baseball for a while. The coach told me, "There's no 'I' in 'team'". So I found a game with an 'I' in it - "tennis" - and switched sports.
I went to a co-ed championship and was beaten by a girl (she was really good) in the first game in straight sets. Hey, at least I lost all by myself with no one helping.
I took the same lone cowboy approach to addressing my addiction. And it actually worked. When I was 22, I beat the addiction. I had been acting out since I was 15, and 7 years later, I beat it - me and God - when I made a vow to stop with His help. For four months, I was completely free of lust. No temptations. There was only one problem. Life stunk without it.
When I started acting out again, it was because I wanted to. It felt so good to go back to acting out - and if I can put it this way - it felt right. It was like coming home again.
Six years later, in a shambles, I became willing to be part of a team and joined SA. I found three others at my local SA group, and assembled my team. We "group sponsored" each other and used a non-SA workbook through the steps. One by one, the other guys fell away. It was my old fear. I was going to fail because these guys weren't willing to work with me.
The truth was, I was only willing to be part of a team if I was the coach. It was when I gave that role over to a sponsor that I started winning.
Some people try the "God is my coach, I don't need others" approach. God may be the coach, but where is the team? To me, sobriety is not a solo sport. I can't be one guy playing all the positions, especially against a team with a perfect record against me like the Lust City All-Stars. Today, when it comes to my addiction, I see my Higher Power as the manager, my sponsor and other advisors as the coaches, and other SAs as the team.
It's harder being part of a team. There's no 'I' in 'team' or in SA. No one gives their full name in SA unless they're named Anna Nimity. It feels better to win than to lose against lust, even if it means playing on a team.