I'd like to share how God has been helping me. I surrender to Him every day and surrendered again before writing this - may He express Himself through me.
After 30 years of acting out, which began at age 14, I was fed up. I acted out three times on the day my father died - this was unmanageability. Then I cried out for help. It was a deep cry from within which communicated to my Higher Power and to the universe that I honestly and desperately needed help. Grace followed and I found the SA fellowship.
For the first time I realised that I was not alone. There are people like me all over the world, suffering from the disease of lust addiction. Emails from some SA members, and their sobriety dates, motivated me to remain sober for 24 days - for the first time in my life.
Then I slipped. As there was no SA meeting here in Mumbai, India, and I had no SA literature either, a member suggested that I attend AA meetings and read AA literature. One day at a time, I tried working on my character defects, such as greed, anger and resentment but I continued to relapse. Eventually I came to realize that I needed the help of an SA sponsor, though there was no one suitable in my Country.
So I prayed and surrendered again to my Higher Power...and a miracle happened. A sober member of SA agreed to be my sponsor and even came to India with some SA literature. He is only here for a limited period and has a busy schedule but together we have started a meeting in the city. He has also helped me with Step 1.
I am feeling such a feeling of gratitude towards my Higher Power, my sponsor and the SA fellowship. This is the joy of recovery. But my sponsor has cautioned me to remain alert and aware all the time, as lust is cunning and powerful.
Today I will end by sharing this little prayer.
My higher power,
I give this day to you.
Establish the work of my hands,
The steps of my feet,
The words of my mouth,
The direction of my gaze,
The thoughts of my mind,
And the attitude of my heart.