Dishonesty is second nature to my dis-ease. I lived in the shadows with my lust and told outright lies to everyone or lied by omission. Dishonesty is a form of control to avoid what I fear. Fear of losing something I have. Fear of not getting what I want. Or fear the someone will know me and find out exactly who I am. Dishonesty, for me, starts with self. If I can convince myself of the lie, it becomes easy for me to lie to others. The biggest lie I can easily fall for with my addiction is, "I can handle a little lust."
My experience in working the Steps has been to recognize the truth about myself and to accept it. The more I work the steps the more the walls of denial crumble. This is freeing and this is real recovery.
Today, I still want to lie, and sometimes I do, but my 10th Step work helps me to rectify this. I'd like to believe that I lie less than I used to because of the Steps and this fellowship.
Being honest can be difficult for a sexaholic like me, but it has proven to be the better way of life.