I spent my life wearing and declaring my sexuality to the world by the way I presented myself. Early in childhood, I learned that I could get my needs for love and attention met this way and it became a lifelong practice. It was my entire identity and my self-worth was tied to attention I attracted from men. What I got in return was men who were only interested in the sexuality that I presented, leaving me lonely and miserable, even in their company.
Sobriety and recovery of my true self have given me greater confidence in myself as a worthwhile person and my sexuality has become a very private part of my life, no longer displayed everywhere I go. What I have experienced, is that I am now able to have true intimacy in friendships with men and women because we have begun sharing our true selves.