As someone new to SA, I was wondering if being female somehow made my sex and lust addiction different - as if it was in a different "class" or level. (There's that self deception & justification trying to take over again).
What I realize once again is that I am an addict. Being female doesn't make it different. I'm still squarely in Step One. My job right now is to continue to discover how my life has been unmanageable and turn over all my "stuff" to my higher power.
I am grateful for the fellowship that I've found in SA but I am even more grateful that there is a way to dig out of this addiction.
As I write, I am realizing that my sex and lust addiction fed, and was fed by, my passive aggressive nature. My self-pity tells me that I "deserve" to act out. Then I can cut myself down mentally - about how bad I am...and then I will need to make myself "feel better" by acting out again. Yep, passive aggressive.