Just when I think I'm doing ok... I'm probably mistaken. I am powerless over lust and my addiction creeps in when I least expect it. Rigorous honesty - but also rigorous attention to my emotions and needs - is key in my recovery.
This morning my husband asks if I can go to the store - a former trigger of mine. I say yes but immediately experience euphoria. I check to make sure that my outfit is not too triggering and that I'm not wearing too much makeup. But I'm so excited to be alone. I end up wearing a shirt that's too tight and my husband calls attention to it. This is what brings this all to my attention. 'Me' time is important to me and I am not used to listening and recognizing my needs. My inner self was screaming at me, trying to gain my attention.
Soon I'll be heading off to a conference where my Higher Power will be the bulwark between me and lust.