It has been three months since I slipped after four years. Prior to that, I slipped after six years. I hated admitting another slip. I hated resetting my sobriety date. I felt ashamed and useless; with all that I know about this program and how it works, how could I be back at square one?
But another way of looking at it is that I have only acted out with myself three times in twelve years. I’ve had over 4500 days of sobriety in between those three days of relapse. And I’ve had over 14 years of progressive recovery, in which my life has got much better than it was.
Each time I’ve slipped, I have learned new humility. I have examined that slip and discovered new ways of surrendering to the Steps and to the fellowship. My recovery has deepened with each slip. Slips are sad, but they can be the tool to get better.
“Can be” - but not always is. Slips are sad. What is far sadder to me is when I see someone who keeps slipping to the point that they simply accept slipping as part of their life.