One Two Three Out

My rock bottom happened when I came to my senses just enough to realize that the things I was doing would likely kill me within a few months. Not "might kill me" but "would likely kill me." I was playing dangerous sexual games with others, over which I had little control. And I had recently returned to doing them after swearing a year earlier that I would not. I reeled from that discovery for about a month, without doing anything. (But also without giving in to the danger.)

Then my wife of 30 years left me, having discovered that I was in phone contact with my dangerous partners. And I reeled from that action for another 3 days, during which I binged on the Internet, trying to find something extreme enough to take away the One-Two pain of this double punch.

And during that same weekend, I gained just enough sanity at times to realize that my business also wasn't happening, that my daydreams of being successful at it were just daydreams. I had been so focused on sexual play that I really wasn't doing much work.

One. Two. Three. Out.

I came to SA, and I was ready to do whatever they told me to do.

  • They said to go to several meetings a week. I did. I made 4-5 meetings each week in those first months, and still do 2 meetings/week.
  • They said to get a sponsor. I did, and I still have one.  
  • They said to work the Steps. I did, and I still work them each day.

Lo and behold, I'm still here. Not dead in some sordid front-page incident. Wife returned to me, and years now of a much better marriage than ever before. Business working, and it has been for years, with enough income to enjoy life.

It truly is a simple program. Go to meetings. Get a sponsor. Work the Steps. Simple, but not always easy. But when I work it, it works.