I once believed that I must fight my lust weakness. This was an "old idea" which I needed to dismiss before I could find any freedom from lust. First, lust is not merely my "weakness"; I am "powerless" over lust (Step 1). I have no hope of fighting something I am powerless over. So I had to learn to do something that never made sense to me before I did it: surrender.
A search of the SA White Book (SAWB) reveals that the word "fight" or "fighting" appears only seven times. What I find interesting is that in every single occurrence of that word, we are told that fighting does not work and we will fail when we try to fight. Instead, we are told the only thing that does work is to surrender.
The SAWB (page 66) says it way better than I can:
Joining a group doesn't automatically make the problem vanish. Most of us had tried stopping countless times. The problem was we couldn't stay stopped; we had never surrendered. So, the first time the craving hits again, when we get that urge for a fix, we give it up, even though it feels like we'll die without it. And at times, in our new frame of mind, the craving may seem stronger than ever. But we don't fight it like we used to; that was always a losing battle, giving it more strength to fight back. Neither do we feed or give in to it. We surrender. We win by giving up. Each time.
It must be in our nature to keep on fighting, even when all the evidence is beating us about the head, telling us it isn't working. Fighting seems so obvious that I simply accepted it as fact for years and years. And so many other people also continued to tell me that I just had to fight harder. That is one of the core ideas that keeps countless sexaholics bound in the addiction instead of breaking through to freedom. I know, because I was there too. To fight is to remain in bondage to the very thing I am fighting.
But all the while there was a different voice telling me that there really is a solution, if only I was willing to change my "old ideas" for a "simple programme".
Stop fighting, start surrendering, and start working the "simple programme." That is what is working for me. There is hope for freedom.
In summary, for us surrender is the change in attitude of the inner person that makes life possible. It is the great beginning, the insignia and watchword of our program. And no amount of knowledge about surrender can make it a fact until we simply give up, let go, and let God. When we surrender our "freedom," we become truly free. (SAWB p.82)