My wives/partners were never happy with my program. Sadly none of them has yet got into any kind of S recovery... I suspect this was because what I had was never sufficiently attractive to them...  

Since then I have also been reminded by my SA friends that my partners and wives were probably at least as sick as me,  or they wouldn't have chosen me...! 

Which meant that without the support of a recovery program of their own, each of my partners has had to face, alone, the horror of their mate (me) finding a HP that was NOT her and, unaccountably, getting better .. ! 

There I was, surrounded by the warmth and acceptance of the fellowship and progressive recovery from working the Steps ... while all my partners got was their own loneliness and feelings of abandonment and rage. No wonder they were mad at me....

Add to this already potent recipe for a partner's rage all the things I typically do in any relationship, married or unmarried, when I am not sober: I try to buy her love. I make repeated promises. I lie about my true feelings - because I am not even aware of them !  I treat her as an object - or at best a trophy. On the surface I look and sound like a "good guy". But I have little or no custody of my eyes. I have poor boundaries around other women. I am needy. I use her body. I play victim. And I do my best to ensure everyone around me sees HER as the problem rather than myself and my addiction....

All this, surely, is enough to enrage anyone but a saint....!

But I have found there is hope, even with baggage like the above. Today I am on excellent terms with wife number 1. Relations are steadily improving with wife number 3. I am still unclear what my amends might be with wife number 2 - the only one who showed the slightest interest in entering a program for herself. But I am certain that this wonderful program will give me even that answer when the time is ripe.