In meetings, it's so easy to focus on what didn't go well over the last few days. But meetings really are amazing, and can be a place of real joy.
I belong to a different small group of men, which meets every week. I'm the only lust addict in that group, as far as I know. They know I'm in recovery, but only two of them know any of the details. It's a great group of men, but it's nothing like my local SA group.
In my SA group, I can talk about my most painful memories and my worst shame. I know I'm safe there. I know that I'm with people who understand. I won't be judged or rejected. I need not hide anything. There is joy to be had in an SA meeting, once I recognize the amazing things God is doing there in each of us and through our unity as well.
But I still think the joy that comes from being set free from the power of lust tops my list. Sometimes I go for a while without thinking about that amazing gift. But there are many other times, particularly when reviewing a day in which all sorts of externals have gone wrong, when I can end my day with this thought: "Wow, I'm still sober, and I didn't have to be enslaved to my obsessions and compulsions today."
When I really stop to think about it, being sober today still amazes me. What used to be the "impossible" comes true each day, one day at a time. That brings a feeling of real joy.
In summary, for us surrender is the change in attitude of the inner person that makes life possible. It is the great beginning, the insignia and watchword of our program. And no amount of knowledge about surrender can make it a fact until we simply give up, let go, and let God. When we surrender our "freedom," we become truly free. (SAWB p.82)