Just the other day, I went to a restaurant that I frequent, expecting it to be a safe place. So point 1, I was avoiding the near occasion of sin, as my mother used to say. I didn't deliberatedly go to a lust-filled place. An early inventory of mine had shown me the places I could no longer frequent.
There was a trigger! Point 2, I recognized the encounter as dangerous: my eyes glanced, my heart started to race, my soul leaped for joy, that stupid grin appeared on my face, sweat started to form on the palms of my hands, etc. I recognize my reaction to the triggers.
Point 3, I looked away... As she spoke to me, I stared at the menu even though everyone there, other waitresses, other regular diners, even the owner, knew that I always get the lunch buffett. But I stared down and said to myself, "Please let me notice something else". As stupid as it sounds I just kept on saying that, until it became a prayer, "Please let me notice something else!"
I guess that was a surrender of sorts... Point 4 - Surrender... because when I looked back up at her standing there, the only thing I saw was a tattoo on her arm. I don't really like tattoos like that one, so I focused on it. Not literally, but mentally. I began to think about the tattoo and how I wouldn't have one like that...
Point 5 - God took over... It sort of it hit me... "No one cares what I think of her tattoo It is hers!" She got it for a reason and that reason wasn't to please me!
Point 6 - I accepted the message that my Higher Power was trying to teach me... I had a right to look, but I surrendered it and my HP rewarded me with further insight into me! Intimacy - "Into Me See" It was her body! NOT mine! If she wanted to work out, groom, wear all black tight clothing, and get a tattoo then it was her body... not mine. I had no right to use her body for my own pleasure, it was hers but for me to "take" it in (lustfully) visually or physically is wrong. Period. What I do in my own mind can be just as dangerous taking it all in physically. That might seem a bit extreme, but my extreme cumpulsions are what got me here and I might have to accept some extreme examples from my Higher Power to get me out of here.