I remember my first face to face meeting so well - five people and a candle. I immediately suspected that this was some kind of cult, but I had been driven to the meeting and therefore had no means of escape.
One of the five was a young man so possessed by the compulsion to act out that he shook constantly and his thoughts were all jumbled. At one point he left the meeting, presumably to act out again, or so I thought. It also occurred to me "there but for the grace of God go I, unless I stop acting out myself...."
So that first meeting brought me a mixture of relief, fear and hope. I could see that the man who had conveyed me to the meeting had found a solution and I wanted that too... and 30 years later, the man who drove me to that meeting is still sober.