I’d like to share what my sponsor suggested for making indirect amends to former anonymous acting out partners, because it was very helpful for me. She had me write a letter to each person, many of whom were nameless, taking responsibility for those actions of mine that had harmed them, in specific but not graphic detail.
At first, this seemed like an easy task, but it turned out to be much harder than I expected. I cried through many of these letters because they brought me face to face with the actual harms that I had done. There was no way I could play the victim when writing only about my part in each encounter. I read all these letters to my sponsor and then we burned them. As we watched the ashes rise upon the smoke, we prayed for all these people I had harmed. It was healing for me and made me conscious of the affect my actions have had on others and gave me a deep desire to never harm anyone in that way again.