I'm loving all the shares on practical tips for surrendering lust temptations. I'm told sexaholism is three-fold: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Ideally my surrender would involve all three. A large part of my surrender in Sexaholics Anonymous has involved mostly the physical: me physically changing my environment by moving my body away from the trigger. Sometimes that alone is enough to get my spirit and emotions to follow. Other times, they're unwilling. My body is in the next room but my emotions and spirit are still standing near the lust temptation.
When I'm on my game, I'm trying to involve my spirit. I'll say a prayer, and conjure up some image of letting go. I used to say set prayers; now it's so extemporaneous I can't say I ever say the same prayer, and sometimes I cycle through a few prayers to find one that works best. Emotionally I try to "quiet the disturbance" in myself. Usually I have been beating myself up about something, which has opened the door for a temptation. So that temptation is actually a gift telling me: "You better go easy on yourself, because here comes Lust, and he won't."
Often the simplest way is best. I loved the trick about physically performing the gesture of "brushing" the temptation from my shoulder. Early in my current (hopefully lifelong) sobriety, when I saw a trigger, I would tap my forehead and look away. I don't know what it meant but it was an action I performed so many times, my response to a trigger was Pavlovian. I think it's the US Marines who say, "You don't rise to the occasion, you fall back on your training." Some people use a rubber band around the wrist that they snap when they see a trigger. I tried that for a while, but I didn't like the acrid rubber smell.
A few months ago, I was in the habit of carrying a piece of paper in my front pocket. Each time I saw a trigger, I would make a small tear in the paper and look away. At the end of the day, I could see how many times I'd surrendered. The tearing alone was not working, so I added a prayer: "Thy wings, not mine be flown," a variation of "Thy will, not mine be done." If my version sounds incredibly silly, it is. It's from a comic. For some reason, the prayer works when nothing else does, perhaps because when an inflated trigger threatens, it can help to pop it with something silly.
When all else fails, I drink a sweet fizzy drink. It seems to keep body, emotions, and spirit all happy, and if it keeps Lust away, I won't argue. If a lot of this seems mindless, it's because the mind is the main thing I'm trying to fool. Because it wants to analyze the temptation, meaning it wants to think about it longer and conjure up fears, etc. until I give in. An acronym came to me last night driving home from a meeting - W.W.F.U. for "What Works For Us" I'll stick to W.W. "What Works" and Lust can have the rest of the acronym.
I had a lust temptation about an hour ago and I nearly reached for that sweet fizzy drink. Instead, I decided to write this share. It seems to have worked. If it doesn't, though, I'll drink a sweet fizzy drink. No, I don't work for a fizzy drink company, and, thankfully, I don't work for Lust either.